KNIT TOGETHER

I am so distant from people; friends, family, coworkers.  I can be so selfish and think; "I'm too tired.  I want time to myself.  I don't want to talk to people. I just want to be by myself."  How self involved am I??  I mean it's so weird.  A few years ago I was a social butterfly.  I was everyone's friend, involved in everyone's life, and always willing to help.  Now - it means nothing to me.  I want to serve Jesus.  But I can't serve Jesus if I am not showing my love to others. Right?  How ironic is this?
(btw - I have the worst of the worst allergies right now and I can't concentrate the way I want to.)

Sue says that I need to be part of a church, have an accountability partner, and disciple.  Which are all things I do; occasionally.  Here's my issue - I live in San Francisco! and my current "local" church is in Cordelia.  This is a 45 minute drive from my house to church every Sunday!  I know I know - woe is me!  But still - how am I supposed to be involved in a local church daily, micro church, and disciple, and even invite people to church when it's not convenient for anyone.  I mean - I can deal, but what about inviting people?  What about discipleship?

Excuses I guess.  I've been trying to find a local church in San Francisco, but my boyfriend is a worship leader at our current church.  I am also involved with the schedule and teach Sunday School.  But if I'm the only one who gets to receive here, what about those I am supposed to reach out to???

I want everything that a church is supposed to be.  I want to be involved in its purpose.  However, is this the right church to do that???

I really want to do the Lord's work - but obviously I can't do that on my own in San Francisco.  Well I can't do it in Cordelia either.  Loooooord!  Help!