**LONG POST** - Grab some coffee, a snack, and some time to kill.
I believe that everyone has a purpose. We are made to do amazing things, and there is no one else in the world that can do what you do. With that being said, last Friday November 3rd, 2017 was my last day at my corporate job after 12 years of service.
Was it an impulse? Am I crazy?
No and probably. There were a lot of factors that were involved. If you are "stuck" or contemplating your current situation, this post may help you. Now, I am not saying right now is the time to quit your job. There is a time for everything. It is our responsibility to discern what season we are in - not just make impulsive crazy decisions. I have been thinking about this for quite some time now, but ignored it.
Did you just wake up and think, “I should just quit my job!”
Let's see - according to my journal (the best way to see your own personal growth IMO), the first time I started to reconsider my current position was around the beginning of May. I had hit a roadblock. I specifically wrote, "It's not about the money....I can't be here anymore." What did I do after that? I prayed. I thought about everything. I weighed it out. I contemplated. I asked people. I read my Bible for guidance. So many questions, concerns, doubts, and fears came up during this time. It wasn't until 6 months later that it was finally time.
You see, I believe in Jesus and the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit teaches me a lot during my time with Him. Well during some quiet times alone, it was revealed to me that I needed to leave my job and pursue a different calling. Within those 6 months I was booked for handful of photography jobs; engagements, weddings, and proposals. I got pretty excited and thought, "What if I am called to do photography?" So I pursued it a bit more; keeping up with my website, putting the word out there in the world that I am a photographer, and up'ing my social media game a bit. I did all of this while still working at my day job.
My job was great - the people are awesome, and they taught me A LOT about running a business. I had a pretty decent reputation and in a pretty good position making pretty good money.
Why would you leave a perfectly good-paying job?!
That thought came through a number of times! But I knew that was the enemy. The only reason I would stay would be for the money. I realized that God had way more in store for me. I continued to pray and ask, “When? How? What happens after?” and God was silent. He was making me wait. He was telling me to be patient.
So fast-forward to mid-October. My husband and I were in Europe for our anniversary. Literally next door to our hotel was a small Etsy type market called Mercato Monti Urban Market in Rome. Now there was no way for us to know that this market was even going on. Our hotel was tucked away and just by chance this was going on the same weekend we were there. Coincidence? I THINK NOT! Now the market wasn't ground breaking; you can get a way better experience at the Renegade Craft Fair in SF. But it was cool to see international artists and their crafts. Such things as clothing, bags & backpacks, and old records. (Remind me to tell you about watching a girl pick up the Thriller album and never hearing it! She bought it for $20!!) Anyway, so we're walking by this guy who has some pretty cool things; coasters, clocks made by hand. Well he used his own photography for the art. Simple pops of colors around the city, street art, and different views. Overall, nice way to display your work. So we walk by his table and immediately my husband stops me and says, "I feel like I need to to tell you something - I just got chills." Well in short, he said that the Holy Spirit told him to tell me that I needed to be doing something like that guy. Now, I had never gotten that vision for myself - it sounds like a grind, and kind of expensive to do. But of course, we the Weavers are obedient to what the Holy Spirit gives us. And this is all the confirmation I needed!
I mean when God calls you - you follow right?
Well, we get back from our vacation and I have scheduled 1-on-1 with my boss at the end of the month. Immediately I think, "I'm just gonna do it then!" On that day, my boss texts me to reschedule the meeting. I get a ton of thoughts coming through - "Ok, I'll just wait until next time. Wait, No I have to do it now!" So how do you tell your boss that you definitely need to talk without them thinking, "Uh oh!" I just knew in my gut and heart that this had to be done before the weekend. So she tells me to meet her in the next hour or so and of course she already has an idea of what's going on. In our jobs - when someone says "I need to talk to you", it means it's important.
How'd you say it?
The actual meeting was kind of blur. I was nervous, and as I was driving from Oakland to San Ramon everything kept telling me to turn around. But I knew, that even though I don't see what's at the end of the tunnel, the light was right in front of me. I had to follow just that - the light...not the results. My boss was bummed, but overall supported me. It felt like a huge weight off of my shoulders. But it also felt like..."What did I just do?!" As the words left my mouth, "I feel like there is something bigger for me after Enterprise." It was a moment of disbelief. I thought I would be at this job making a ton of money and retiring in 20 years. You hear these stories of people who just left it all and went to travel the world, but you would never think that would happen to you. There is a stigma that there is the rule; you go to school, work, get married, have a family, buy a house, retire and then repeat with the next generation. The exception to the rule is for the people that go against the grain and achieve the craziest dreams. I never thought that would be me.
I didn't think I would be writing this post so soon. But, I felt like the Holy Spirit telling me to tell my story now. I at least wanted an amazing story to follow it up with - like "I am now a super famous photographer sitting on a lot of cash." Which is definitely not the case right now. I am completely out of my element.
No accountability, no consistent income, but it's the most exhilarating feeling and I have the best support team. The journey is now, not later. My whole life I have planned out everything; I went to the college in the state I wanted to live in, I was able to move back to the Bay when I wanted and live in SF just as I wanted.. Which is all great - and I am not complaining; the Lord has provided all of this for me and much much more. However, now it's not about what I want, it's about what God wants, because the plans that He has for me, are far beyond any plans I could ever imagine for myself. Is it photography? Is it being in the market place? I am not sure. There is only 1 thing I am sure of; there is no place I'd rather be....In His arms of love. Cheesy I know, but it fits.
If you've read this post to the end.. thank you for sticking around. If you are thinking some of the same thoughts, I would love to hear your story.
If you leave with anything - just remember...
You were created to do amazing things. His promises are Yes & Amen.